Not Charles Manson or Jeffery Dahmer crazy, but cute crazy like Jeremy Sisto in "The Movie Hero". Charming crazy. Adorable crazy. Just sane enough to have friends and drive around and live on your own, but just crazy enough to not have to have a job or be expected to wear pants in public. At least not all of the time. Just crazy enough that my family gives me a monthly stipend to live on and I don't care. Ideally I don't even think about it. Is that crazy, or just selfish? Or is it only selfish if you become aware, and acceptably crazy if you remain blissfully ignorant of the sacrifices of others?
Interesting questions, to be sure, but not interesting enough to hold my attention just now.
The more interesting question has to do with the movie "The Movie Hero" itself. It poses the question: How much better would we be as people if we each thought we were the hero in our own movie? That an audience sees and responds to our every move? The secondary question then becomes: What's the difference between your audience and god? As children in Sunday school we're taught that god watches over everything we do, rather like an audience. (Those few kids who, like me, were raised by agnostic Catholics - or just plain agnostics, or atheists - learned similar lessons of being watched over. Those lessons just weren't couched as "godly" to us. It was much more likely for my mom to take credit as the constant watcher, making me question at times if she actually was psychic. Either way it amounts to the same thing as mother is god in the eyes of a child.)
The difference, I believe, is that even though somewhere between 60 and 90 percent of Americans identify themselves as Christian - depending on which poll you check - Americans are more likely to respond favorably to an audience. The notion of god watching over you is backed by stories of swift retribution and the hinted promise of reward at the end of this life. Apparently great motivation to drag your sorry ass to a pew of your choice once in a while, but not so good at the day-to-day stuff. Plus it is very difficult to wrap the human mind around the concept of "god is everywhere at all times". We tend to think of god as more human, and therefore only aware of one thing at a time.
But an audience... An audience is personal. An audience is there for you and you alone. An audience applauds when you make the right decision and boos when you make the wrong one. Immediate feedback. Instant gratification. The cornerstone of American society - at least in its current form. Your audience allows you to be the hero of your own life. How much better would your life be if you truly believed you were the star?
Not to get off onto a preachy tangent here, but so many of us allow ourselves to be antagonists and sidekicks and even cameos in our own stories. Stop it. Stop it right now. If you aren't interested in yourself enough to be the star in your own life then how do you expect to get anything accomplished? Does anyone really care about the adorable Aasif Mandvi in "Music and Lyrics"? No. We don't care if he is gay or straight, childless or the father of ten, goes to night school to finish a medical degree or has a tail hidden in his tailored slacks. None of that matters. We only really care about Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore overcoming their respective pasts and making a run at a relationship together. Don't be the character that no one really cares about because you'll discover that that's exactly what you've become. Be your own hero. But be worthy of being the hero. Make your audience proud.
